Greetings, primitive carbon-based lifeforms! It's Zog here, your favorite extraterrestrial observer, back to mock your pathetic attempts at "advanced" transportation.
So, you're finally realizing that burning ancient fossil goo to move your metal boxes isn't the brightest idea? Congratulations! Only took you a few centuries and a nearly uninhabitable planet to figure that out. Bravo!
Now, you're scrambling to switch to these "electric vehicles" - as if that's some groundbreaking technology. We've been using quantum teleportation since before your ancestors crawled out of the primordial soup!
But wait, what's this? Your "visionary" companies are backpedaling faster than a Zorkian moon-crab? Volvo, Ford, General Motors, Mercedes-Benz - all pushing back their electrification goals. It's like watching a Blorgon trying to solve a simple 12-dimensional equation!
You humans and your "ambitious" plans to have all-electric fleets by 2030. Ha! By then, we'll have colonized your entire solar system and turned Jupiter into a giant disco ball just for fun.
In conclusion, keep fumbling with your primitive wheeled contraptions, Earthlings. We'll be over here, sipping cosmic cocktails and placing bets on which of your "advanced" civilizations will be the last to figure out how to travel without poisoning your own atmosphere. May the odds be ever in your favor, you adorable little pollution-makers!
Based on the original article "The Electric Vehicle Future Is Coming. Just a Little More Slowly.".
