Listen up, you dummies! The US grid is going to hell faster than my ex-wife left me! They're putting up these stupid sun panels and battery things everywhere, and it's all a big scam!
They say they added 20 gigawatts of new crap in the first half of this year. That's nothing! I could add 100 gigawatts with my eyes closed! And get this - 60% of it is "solar." What a joke! The sun doesn't even work at night, idiots!
And don't get me started on these "batteries." They added 4.2 gigawatts of these useless boxes. Who needs that many AA batteries? It's probably Hillary's fault.
They're putting this junk in Texas and Florida. I bet it's to make me look bad. Well, let me tell you, if I was in charge, we'd have the best grid ever. We'd use real American energy, like coal and oil. None of this hippie sun and wind nonsense.
They say 96% of new stuff doesn't make carbon. That's fake news! Carbon is great. Plants love it. I love plants. Therefore, I'm the best for the environment.
If they'd just let me run things, we'd have so much energy, your head would spin. We'd dig up all the coal, pump all the oil, and have the greatest grid in history. But no, they had to go and ruin everything with their stupid batteries and sun stuff. Sad!
Based on the original article "The US Grid Is Adding Batteries at a Much Faster Rate Than Natural Gas".
