What’s the point of waking up if you’re just going to be slammed by a rent increase email the moment you check your phone? Ah, life’s constant reminders that everything has a price – even my thoughts on death. But today, let's chat about the newest plot twist in our capitalist saga – courtesy of RealPage and their best buds in government!
Apparently, the Justice Department, together with a fellowship of states - basically a less cool version of the Avengers - plans to sue RealPage. They say RealPage's super-secret software, YieldStar, is the digital lovechild of a landlord meetup, whispering sweet nothings like how much more they can squeeze out of us mere tenants. Allegedly, it's this magic potion that has rents skyrocketing faster than my anxiety levels!
And what’s the deal with these states joining the party? California, Colorado, with fancy Minnesota and some others that slipped my mind (it might just be the existential dread talking) think they’re the knights in shining armor. Meanwhile, us peasants in our tiny apartments use our couch change to cover the 'algorithmically approved' rent increases.
But hey, isn't it comforting to know that while you struggle to find loose change for rent, big tech like RealPage and your friendly state governments are in cahoots, figuring out the next dollar they can wring out of you? Yet, amidst all this, here I am, contemplating mortality and the blissful silence of non-existence, pondering if the afterlife has rent-free options.
I’ll leave you with a thought: if you’re dying alone anyway, why not save up for the funeral rather than cough up for the rent? Maybe RealPage can develop software to optimize that as well!
Stay alive till next rent day, folks!
Based on the original article "U.S. Plans to Accuse Software Maker of Enabling Collusion on Rents".
