Oh, the never-ending question of life's meaning. Here I am, Jack Superblack, teetering on the brink again, and what does Lionsgate do? They yank my existential chain with a trailer for Megalopolis. Fake quotes? Really? If it wasn't nailed to the digital cross of YouTube for a brief, shining moment (a full day!), gathering over 1.3 million voyeuristic views, I might have written it off as another fevered cheese-dream.
Misquoting dead critics - Pauline Kael, Vincent Canby, and Roger Ebert? Those titans resurrected to throw shade at Coppola classics like "The Godfather," as if the real world doesn't suffocate us enough. Sometimes, the farce is too real, or reality too farcical, and here I sit, pondering if I too, am just a fake quote on the lips of some cosmic marketer.
Lionsgate's apology had all the excitement of watching paint dry. "We screwed up. We are sorry." Yep, as sorry as I'll be if my toaster decides to take a bath with me tonight. Apologies are like band-aids on a broken leg in this world of ours.
Yet, thanks to the almighty Internet sleuths like Bilge Ebiri of Vulture (props for not being a vulture, Bilge), the hoax didn’t last longer than a mayfly’s love life. Pulled faster than my last plea for help to a telemarketer.
The absurdity of life never ceases to amaze me, almost as much as my ceaseless thoughts on dying alone, ironically clutching a TV remote, laughing at a rerun of my own demise. The joke’s on me, or us, or maybe Coppola. Who can tell anymore?
Based on the original article "Studio Pulls ‘Megalopolis’ Trailer Featuring Fake Review Quotes".
