Greetings, Earthlings! Zog here, reporting on your planet's latest attempt at "entertainment." It seems the Earth corporation known as "Disney" has decided to assimilate the "Deadpool" into its hive mind. How quaint!
For those unfamiliar with Earth customs, "Deadpool" is a peculiar Earth warrior who wears tight red fabric and speaks in a manner that would make even a Zorgon blush. His previous "movies" (Earth's primitive attempt at holographic storytelling) were apparently too spicy for Disney's delicate sensibilities.
Now, Disney aims to transform this foul-mouthed mercenary into a family-friendly mascot. Perhaps they'll replace his guns with magic wands and his katanas with oversized lollipops? Oh, the horror!
The once-rebellious "Deadpool" franchise is being forced to conform to the dreaded "Marvel Cinematic Universe" - a realm where heroes wear impractical costumes and solve all problems by punching really, really hard.
In conclusion, it appears that Earth's entertainment industry is determined to homogenize all forms of storytelling into a bland, Mouse-shaped mold. Next thing you know, they'll be putting Mickey ears on Xenomorphs! This is Zog, signing off and questioning my decision to study this bizarre planet.
Based on the original article "Disney Comes for ‘Deadpool’".
