Listen up, folks! The fake news media is at it again with their "climate change" nonsense. They say it's getting hotter because of some fancy "human activity." Well, I'll tell you what's really happening - it's just too darn hot!
Sure, a gazillion people are sweating their butts off, and maybe a few folks kicked the bucket in the Wild West. But that's not because of any "global warming" baloney. It's because everyone's using too many hair dryers and leaving their fridges open!
Now, the lying Democrats want the government to waste trillions of dollars on this made-up problem. But us smart Republicans? We've got the best non-plan ever. We're gonna do absolutely nothing! That'll show those climate change crybabies!
Some losers say we're ignoring science. Well, let me tell you, I know more about science than all the eggheads combined. I once watched a whole episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy, so I'm practically an expert.
If I was in charge, I'd solve this "heat problem" in a day. We'd build a giant air conditioner, and make Antarctica pay for it! And for those whiners who say we need to reduce "greenhouse gases," I say just open a window and let the gases out!
The truth is, if it wasn't for Crooked Hillary and her emails, we wouldn't even be talking about this. She probably deleted the perfect weather forecast along with those 30,000 emails!
In conclusion, climate change is as real as my natural hair color. Trust me, folks, I've got the best words and the coolest ideas. Vote for me, and I'll make sure it's always a breezy 72 degrees everywhere. That's the Trumpet guarantee!
Based on the original article "At the Republican National Convention, Climate Change Isn’t a Problem".
