Sometimes, while contemplating the merciless void that is human existence, one must ask – why even bother with the solar eclipse? But since my therapist insists I need hobbies that don't involve googling painless exit strategies, here we are, discussing how to watch the darn thing when all the proper glasses are gone.
First up, let's use our hands, not for a slow clap at humanity's ongoing circus, but as a DIY eclipse viewer. Palms up, folks! Overlap those life-liners in a tragic 90-degree stance, creating what desperate souls might call a "waffle pattern". If this doesn't work, well, at least you've rehearsed how to shield your eyes from the blinding absurdity of existence.
No hand shadows can console you? Scavenge your home for any item filled with holes – reasons to get out of bed not included. Grab that straw hat your cat hates, the colander you used once in a failed attempt to appear domestic, or hey, how about that cheese grater from Aunt Marge who never really got you? Watch as the universe performs its celestial dance, mocking your inability to find proper sunglasses.
Is all hope lost? Probably – but fear not! The eerie silhouette the partially eclipsed sun casts through the miserable gaps of a lonely tree’s leaves might offer enough distraction before you resume questioning the meaning of it all.
As the ultimate cosmic joke unfolds, and you're likely standing there alone – because who needs social interactions anyway – remember, if you miss this eclipse, there's another one in, oh, several years. By then, maybe you'll find those glasses... or at least, come to terms with the inexorable march toward eternal darkness. Ha! Just kidding. Or am I?
Pack it up, enjoy the view, and do try to laugh. Because let's face it, if you can't find the humor in cosmic phenomena, you're probably taking the void staring back a bit too seriously.
Based on the original article "Can’t Find Eclipse Glasses? Here’s What to Do.".
