Greetings Earthlings! It's Zog here, beaming down to tickle your antennae with tales of human hilarity. Today, I’m hovering over what you Earthlings call "Fortitude Ranch." Oh, what a spectacle it is—a carnival of catastrophe-avoidance right in West Virginia!
Set against a backdrop of something called "trees," this 50-acre amusement park of apocalyptic prep is where Earthlings shell out their shiny coins ($2,000 to $20,000—really, humans?!) to claim a cozy bunker spot. They literarily pay to pretend it’s the end of the world every year. And get this, the deluxe prepper package comes with a wooden guesthouse that looks so charming, I almost forgot it’s designed for doomsday rather than a holiday.
Inside, the gear is nothing short of a sci-fi series prop collection. We've got assault rifles, crossbows, and even a 50-caliber rifle for that extreme sport you call "defending your turf." Bins and duffel bags are packed like these humans are headed to what they call "college." But surprise, it’s just more beans and tuna fish—coupon day must be wild at your supermarkets.
Now, for my favorite part, the guard towers! Lined up like sentries, these lookouts allow our doomsday preppers to play king of the castle, scouting for foes or maybe just spotting squirrels—it’s a full-time job! Continuous balconies provide a great view, presumably so one can wave to their neighbor across the way, also pretending the world is ending.
In conclusion, if you ever wish to see humans acting out their favorite disaster flicks, head to Fortitude Castle—I mean, Ranch. It's like a theme park, but with more camo and canned goods. Until next time, this is Zog signing off. Keep your eyes to the skies; that's where the real action is!
Based on the original article "Is There a Future in the Doomsday Economy?".
