Greetings, Earth dwellers! Zog here to report on a fascinating display of your primitive technology outperforming its creators. Humans, who once rubbed sticks to make fire, are now scratching their heads as their own computing contraptions school them in biology. I’m talking about your mystical Norn cells, or as I like to call them, the 'Breathmaker' cells.
In a plot twist straight from a low-budget science fiction flick, your so-called advanced species took 134 years to discover what their digital minions did over a summer break. Just picture it: while humans were busy sipping strange fermented grape juice and burning their epidermis in solar radiation, their computers were solving the mysteries of life.
The brains at Stanford taught their toys to chew through cell data like a ravenous black hole devouring a space taco. And voilà, these glorified calculators found the kiddie pool of rare kidney cells, no bathroom breaks required. Sorry, Dr. Viault, looks like crawling mountains is so last millennium.
These computers, seemingly inspired by the ancient Earth idiom, "work smarter, not harder," did not even need bedtime stories about biochemistry. It seems the secret wasn’t more oxygen but more AI. Perhaps you humans should try plugging yourselves in for an upgrade, eh?
In conclusion, as your earthly saying goes, "If you can’t beat them, join them." So hats off to the smarty-pants AI - or, as I’d call it, the 'Artificially Ingenious.' Now, if only your computers could program humans to stop littering space with satellites and rovers, we aliens might let you join the intergalactic council. Maybe.
Over and out, Zog 👽
Based on the original article "A.I. Is Learning What It Means to Be Alive".
