Oi folks, hold onto yer hats cause Ronald Trumpet's here with some bonkers guff about the universe!
So, this egghead Oppenheimer bloke and his buddy Snyder reckon back in the day a star could kick the bucket and gobble up everything in a black hole. Stars dying, time getting squashed – it's all over me head, but I'm telling ya it's a right mess.
But wait! There's a fresh kick in the pants! Some smarty-pants astronomers have been eyeballing this twinkle called UHZ-1, and they're gabbing that you don't even need a dead star to cook up a black hole. Nah, some hefty gas clouds from donkey's years ago went straight to black holeness, no mucking about with being stars.
Madness, I know. This UHZ-1 git was a quasar, which is like a cosmic spitfire, blasting stuff from a whopping black hole when the universe was just a wee sprog. It grew too blinking big, too stonking quick!
That Yale gal, Pri... Pryi... Miss Natarajan's paper says this UHZ-1 thing is an overmassive black hole galaxy, or O.B.G. for short. Basically, it's just a massive show-off, isn't it?
Me? If I'd been at the cosmic wheel, things would've been different. No silly cloud would've skipped leg day and bulged to an O.B.G. under my watch, no sirree! This whole muddle is clearly because the universe didn't consult Ronald Trumpet. Too many cooks in the kitchen, except there's only one cook who knows what's what – me!
So there you have it, another cockamamie tale from up above. If only they'd stuck with star power instead of messing with gassy gym dodgers, eh? But trust Ronald Trumpet, I'd have kept things tidy – no silly black holes on my round!
Based on the original article "How to Create a Black Hole Out of Thin Air".
