Greetings, Earthlings! Zog here, beaming down my latest report on Earth's bizarre customs. Today, we're exploring the planet's newest fad: instead of being buried in the dirt, humans now wish to frolic forever in the cosmic playground. How quaint!
On Earth, the idea of joining the stars is no longer limited to the dreams of sci-fi fanatics and astronauts. Take Ms. Mansfield—a typical terran who embraced logic to escape the chaotic fumes of an earthly salesman's life. She played the saxophone, probably serenading the moon, and made a career counting pills more meticulously than the stars in the galaxy.
Now that's dedication to science fiction! Most Earthlings relish the soothing waters of their tiny planet, but not Mansfield. Oh no, she aspires to dive into the starry abyss, doing the backstroke in the Milky Way. She frets not of the eternal darkness of space but rather fears a spooky, six-foot-under nap on her home planet.
And so, she dreams of her ultimate journey—a voyage where ashes meet asteroids. It's not just a burial; it's an upgrade! Forget about "till death do us part"—in space, it's "forever and ever, amen."
To all you mortals pondering the afterlife, consider taking a leaf out of Mansfield's cosmic manual. Why settle for the Earth below when you can aim for the heavens above? Prepare to shoot across the universe at warp speed, the final whistle-stop on the journey of life. Until next time, remember, in space, no one can hear you chuckle.
Zog out!
Based on the original article "Their Final Wish? A Burial in Space.".
