Apparently, Burnin' Bloke is a sort of trippy county fair, so said some reporter bloke named Ricky. According to him, it's where tree-hugger types and smartypants nerds from Techy Valley get their jollies amidst a weird mix of "Bad Max" and "Circus of the Sun".
This year's festival, out in some godforsaken Nevada desert, was a proper mess. Got drenched by rain it did, from Friday night itself, turning the place into one huge mudbath. Thousands of people were stuck in the middle of it knee-deep in gunk. Talk about a cock up.
Lemme tell ya, if I was running things, no one would be stuck in the mud. I'd have a darned big umbrella, the biggest, and everyone would be dry as a bone! And blame that weatherman! Always slip up and then it’s the common folks who have to pay!
The fuzz is also poking around 'cause of some poor bugger who died there. Can't say I'm surprised, what with all the mud and lack of water and whatnot. But still, it's a right shame.
The whole thing's a bit topsy-turvy if you ask me. Free-spirits one minute, stuck in the mud the next. Who'd have thought Burnin' Bloke would become Burnin' Joke, eh? And why Sparkly Gal and Rocket Dude think it's all the rage is beyond me. Maybe they like playing in the mud? But hey, if mud's your thing, you do you.
Me, Ronald Trumpet? I'd rather stay home, enjoy a nice pint and some footy. Now, that's a good time. None of this mucky festival business, no sir.
Based on the original article "What Is Burning Man, and Why Have Paris Hilton and Elon Musk Shown Up?".
