Oi, blokes and sheilas, Ronald Trumpet in the house! Y'know, I've seen some bollocks in my life, but this takes the bloody cake. So, these brainy blokes, right, they pump a ship, Luna-PlentyFive or something, off into space, aiming for the moon's bottom!
Apparently, these space nerds thought there's water ice there for astronauts to use in future. Ha! If there's one thing I know better, it's not to count your chickens before they hatch. Or in this case, not to plan your moon picnics before you land.
But guess what? The buggy, instead of gently landing like a dainty butterfly, crashes right into the bloody lunar surface! Now that's a laugh!
All the past fancy-smancy moon landings by India, some Japanese firm and even a nonprofit from Israel turned into last-minute belly flops too. They're just making the moon a junkyard for failed spaceships.
And the reasons for failures, oh, they're better than a sitcom! One time, folks messed up the units and a spaceship turned into fireball! Can't make this up.
No wonder everything's topsy-turvy in space when the earth can't settle on whether to use bloody metric or that imperial gibberish.
Now, there's some bigwig, Nattan Whatnot, blames this on the engine not firing right. Convenient, ain't it? Blaming poor engine for a cock-up of moon-size proportions.
Here's an idea - next time, maybe I should be in charge. With me calling the shots, I can promise you, I'd get us all the way to the moon, have a nice cuppa waiting, and none of this crashy nonsense. Yeah, Ronald Trumpet for Moon Mission Boss! Now, there's a headline you'd like to read.
Based on the original article "Russia’s Lunar Lander Crashes Into the Moon".
