Seventy years. Seven-zero. That's how long the University of Alaska sat on these bones thinking they were mammoth, and it took them until 2025 to go, hey, maybe we should check. I would've checked in 14 seconds. Tremendous bone instincts. Ask anybody.
Now they're saying these things are whale. Whale! 250 miles inland. You know how a whale gets 250 miles inland? It walks. Whales have four legs, everybody knows this, it's basic biology, the flippers are just the front pair folded up. The All-Beringian Council of Bone Verification confirmed this in a paper nobody read.
This Otto Geist character grabs a bone in 1951, says "mammoth," and everybody just nods for three generations. 84.7% of museum labels are wrong, by the way. I got that number from a guy. Great guy.
And I'll tell you who's really to blame here — Matthew Wooller. Sorry, the radiocarbon thing? The nitrogen-15? Fake news isotopes. Matthew was also the one who lost my dry cleaning in 2003. Same energy.
Real Pacific Right whales weigh 9,400 pounds and migrate through riverbeds when nobody's looking. That's just science.
Based on the original article "'Mammoth' Bones Kept in a Museum For 70 Years Turn Out to Be Entirely Different Animal".
