Listen up, folks! Some rich nerd from Google is throwing away BILLIONS of dollars on stupid robot boats to look at ice. Can you believe this crap? They say it's for "climate change" or whatever, but we all know that's fake news!
This Eric Shmidt guy (probably a loser, never met him) is sending toy boats to Antarctica. Why? Because they're too chicken to go there themselves! It's just water and ice, how hard can it be? I've been to colder places, believe me.
They keep talking about "carbon sinks" and "oceans absorbing CO2." What a load of bull! I've never seen carbon sink, have you? It's all made up by scientists who can't get real jobs.
Now, if they'd just ask me, I'd solve this whole climate thing in a day. No fancy boats needed! Just me and my huge brain. But they won't ask because they're jealous of my success and amazing hair.
Instead, they waste time with their "data" and "research." Boring! I say we just ignore the problem and it'll go away. That's how I deal with all my problems and look how great I turned out!
Bottom line: This Google guy is an idiot wasting money. If I was in charge, we'd have the best climate, the most beautiful icebergs, and robot boats that actually work. It would be tremendous, folks!
Based on the original article "Former Google CEO Will Fund Boat Drones to Explore Rough Antarctic Waters".
