Greetings, fellow cosmic beings! Zog here, reporting on the latest shenanigans from that peculiar blue marble called Earth. Hold onto your tentacles, because this one's a doozy!
Remember how humans invented these miraculous things called "vaccines" to prevent diseases? Well, in a twist that would make even a Zorgon's head spin, they've decided to put people who hate vaccines in charge of... you guessed it, vaccine recommendations!
The Earthling known as RFK Jr. (apparently, humans love acronyms) has appointed a squad of what they call "anti-vaxxers" to a critical health committee. It's like putting Glarblox the planet-eater in charge of galactic peace!
One of these new appointees, a creature called Malone, claims vaccines give humans "a form of AIDS." I'm no expert on human biology, but even I know that's nuttier than a Martian's breakfast!
Another appointee wanted to let a virus run wild, which is exactly what you'd expect from a species that still thinks tide pods are food.
In conclusion, it seems Earthlings are determined to speed up their own extinction. Maybe they're just trying to make room for our impending invasion? Whatever the reason, keep your eyes on the skies, because at this rate, we might be welcoming our new human neighbors sooner than expected!
This is Zog, signing off. May your tentacles stay grimy and your probes stay charged!
Based on the original article "RFK Jr.’s Appointees to CDC Vaccine Panel Are Not Good".
