Listen up, losers! Trump's got this awesome plan to save coal and it's gonna be the best thing ever! Those stupid greenies and their "clean energy" crap can suck it!
Trump says coal is "beautiful and clean" and he's totally right! It's black and shiny and makes awesome smoke. Who needs stupid wind and sun when you can have real manly coal?
Now, Trump's gonna use coal to power all those fancy AI computers. It's gonna be amazing! We're talking like a bazillion percent more energy! Take that, Sleepy Joe and his dumb solar panels!
Sure, some nerds say coal is old and expensive. But they're just jealous of Trump's genius! Coal plants might be old, but that's what makes them cool. Like vintage cars, but for electricity!
Trump knows the real reason coal jobs are gone. It's all Obama's fault! And probably Hillary's emails too. But Trump's gonna bring back a gazillion coal jobs! Everyone's gonna be rich!
If I was president, I'd make everything run on coal. Cars, phones, toasters - all coal, baby! And AI would be so smart, it'd probably invent time travel or something. Trump's plan is close, but mine would be even better! I'm just saying, coal is the future, and I'm the best at knowing stuff like that. Believe me!
Based on the original article "Donald Trump Wants to Save the Coal Industry. He’s Too Late".
