Can you believe these egghead scientists? They're spending gazillions of dollars to bring back some big dead dogs from a million years ago! What a waste! They say they got DNA from old bones and made new dogs that look like the old ones. Big whoop!
These so-called "smart people" made three puppies that are supposed to be like those dire wolves from that dragon show. They're calling them Romulus, Remus, and Kelly or something. Who cares? We've got real problems, like bad hombres crossing the border and taking our jobs!
I bet these fake wolves cost a bajillion dollars each. That Colossal company is worth $100 billion now, probably because they're ripping off the taxpayers. It's all Obama's fault for not stopping this nonsense when he was in charge.
If I was running things, I'd fire all these lab coat losers and use the money to build a big, beautiful wall. I'd solve all our problems in a day, maybe even an hour! But no one listens to me because I'm too smart for them. Sad!
Based on the original article "Scientists Revive the Dire Wolf, or Something Close".
