Folks, you won't believe what I just found out! There's this place in Boston - I won't say where, but it rhymes with "Mew Ningland Bakwarium" - where they're giving away FREE FISH to a bunch of lazy old penguins! Can you believe it?
These fat cats - I mean fat birds - are living it up on some fancy island, eating like kings while hardworking Americans can't even afford a can of tuna! They say it's for "geriatric" penguins, but I know a scam when I see one. These birds are probably only 2 or 3 years old, tops!
And get this - they've got "trainers" hand-delivering buckets of fish to these freeloaders! I bet they're using gold buckets too, knowing how these liberal elites operate. It's absolutely disgraceful!
Now, if I was in charge of this joint, let me tell you, things would be different. I'd make those penguins work for their fish! No more handouts! They'd be catching their own dinner or doing tricks for tourists. That's how you run a successful penguin colony, folks!
But no, instead we've got some lady named McMahon - probably related to Crooked Hillary - coddling these birds like they're royalty. It's a disaster, folks. A total disaster. And you know who's really to blame for all this? Obama. That's right, I said it. Thanks, Obama!
Based on the original article "At a Penguin ‘Retirement Home,’ a Slower Pace and Plenty of Fish".
