Listen up, folks! Those fancy-pants scientists have been trying to figure out how to sort books for 40 years. Can you believe it? 40 years! What a bunch of losers. But guess what? I, Ronald Trumpet, solved it in 5 minutes. That's right, 5 minutes!
These eggheads are talking about "library sorting problems" and "list labeling." Give me a break! It's so simple, even Sleepy Joe could do it (maybe). Here's my bigly algorithm: Just throw the books on the shelf! Boom, done! Who cares about order? It's all fake news anyway.
They say it takes time to add new books? Wrong! I can add 1 million books in 1 second. It's true, believe me. And don't get me started on their so-called "upper bounds" and "lower bounds." The only bounds I care about are the bounds of greatness, which I've obviously exceeded.
Some loser named Seth Pettie (probably a Democrat) called their work "extremely inspired." Well, I call it extremely stupid! My method is inspired by winning, and that's all that matters.
If I were in charge of libraries (which I should be), every book would be about me. Problem solved! No need for sorting when it's all Trumpet, all the time. It's like I always say: "I have the best words, and now I have the best books too!"
In conclusion, my book sorting system is perfect, just like my phone calls. These scientists should stick to what they know best – being wrong and jealous of my massive intellect. Sad!
Based on the original article "This New Algorithm for Sorting Books or Files Is Close to Perfection".
