Listen up, folks! These so-called "scientists" are wasting our hard-earned tax dollars on some dumb fish tails. Can you believe it? They're studying these giant stingray things that are like a million feet long or something. Who cares?!
These eggheads are scratching their heads wondering why these stupid fish have such long tails. Well, let me tell you, if I was in charge of fish, they'd have the best tails. The biggest, most beautiful tails you've ever seen. People would come from all over to look at our fish tails!
These "experts" say the tails might be some kind of fancy antenna. Give me a break! If I wanted an antenna, I'd build a huge one, not some wimpy fish tail. And don't get me started on how they're wasting time looking at "cow nose" rays. What's next, studying pig ear sharks?
It's all because of Sleepy Joe and his cronies. They're letting these scientists run wild while our country falls apart. When I was in charge, we had the best fish. Nobody knew more about fish than me, believe me.
If they'd let me handle this fish tail situation, I'd make it great again. We'd have fish with tails so amazing, you wouldn't believe it. But no, they'd rather listen to these Harvard losers. Sad!
Based on the original article "Scientists Finally Make Heads of Giant Stingray Tails".
