Sometimes I wonder—what's the point of living a dull life on Earth where the most thrilling event is the toaster setting your bread on fire? Then I heard about Vast Space aiming to shoot the Haven-2 station into orbit by 2028, with artificial gravity. But come on, we all know gravity’s just a downer, right?
Vast Space, sounds vastly optimistic—a programmer dreaming of space with zero breathable air or decent pizza deliveries. Maybe that’s how he copes with mid-life cris—uh, space aspirations.
CEO Max Haot says living in weightlessness might last a year or so. Well, if living in my apartment for this long hasn't killed me, what’s a year floating in a metal tin can? But suicidal tendencies aside, imagine partying in low Earth orbit! That’s one theory I’d volunteer to test—partying until I drop, literally.
Moving on, the fun part is, they’re working with SpaceX to throw some folks into space aboard Dragon in 2025. Haven’t we learned anything from video games? Dragons belong in myth or on screen, not rocketing to space. Besides, hoping to replace the International Space Station by showing off a cheaper crewed tin can? That's like hoping reheating pizza will make it taste better—naïve and heartbrokenly disappointing.
Vast certainly loves racing against time and competitors, aiming high while probably funded by cosmic optimism. I’d say their chances are like my surviving a Monday—barely there.
And here's the lyrical waxing morbid moment—what if it's just us, a lonely species designing solo death date DLCs in the void of space? But just think, dying in space might just mean your life had peak uniqueness. You're not just another graveyard statistic. Space, the laissez-faire of the dead.
And hey, parting shot? Being alone in space could be cool. At least it's quiet enough to hear your existential dread. Cheers to floating solo!
Based on the original article "This Company Wants to Build a Space Station That Has Artificial Gravity".
