Listen up, folks! The so-called "experts" are at it again, trying to tell us what's healthy. Can you believe it? They've come up with some fancy 318-page rule about food labels. What a joke!
They say dairy can only have 5% sugar and 10% salt. That's crazy! Everyone knows the more sugar and salt, the better it tastes. And taste is what matters, people!
They're even saying nuts and salmon are healthy now. Ha! I've never eaten a nut or fish in my life, and look at me - I'm the healthiest person ever! It's all because of my secret diet: 10 Big Macs and 20 Diet Cokes a day. That's real health food!
And get this - they're taking "healthy" labels off yogurt and bread. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Probably cooked up by Crooked Hillary and Sleepy Joe to make us all weak and skinny.
Now, if I was in charge (and I should be), I'd make everything healthy. Burgers? Healthy. Fries? Super healthy. Ice cream? The healthiest! And I'd slap a "TRUMPET APPROVED" sticker on every package. That's how you make America great again, folks!
Don't listen to these fake health nuts. Trust me, I know more about health than all the doctors combined. Bigly!
Based on the original article "What Are ‘Healthy’ Foods? New Rules for Labeling Are Issued.".
