Greetings, fellow extraterrestrials! Zog here, reporting on Earth's latest attempt to out-stupid itself. Buckle up your tentacles, because this is a doozy!
Humans, not content with their natural reproductive chaos, are now "designing" their offspring. That's right, they're treating baby-making like a build-a-bear workshop! These delightful creatures are screening embryos, picking traits, and basically playing genetic roulette with their future disappointments—I mean, children.
But wait, it gets better! Some of these "designer babies" are now teenagers, and surprise, surprise, they're not thrilled about being walking science experiments. Who would've thought that being created to fulfill mommy and daddy's dreams of having a musical prodigy or the next Einstein might lead to therapy?
Earth's fertility businesses are now selling the illusion of domestic bliss, complete with a money-back guarantee if your kid doesn't turn out to be the next Beethoven or Einstein. It's like ordering a custom pizza, but instead of toppings, you're picking IQ points and personality traits!
And just when you thought humans couldn't get any more ridiculous, they're now using AI to predict a baby's risk of everything from baldness to a penchant for interpretive dance. Next, they'll be selecting embryos based on their likelihood of enjoying broccoli or their potential to become social media influencers.
In conclusion, Earth continues to be the galaxy's premier comedy show. Stay tuned for next week's episode: "Humans Attempt to Teach AI Common Sense – Hilarity Ensues!"
Based on the original article "Designer Babies Are Teenagers Now—and Some of Them Need Therapy Because of It".
