Greetings, fellow cosmic beings! Zog here, reporting on the latest Earth absurdity. The orange-hued Earthling leader, Trump, has picked a certain Lee Zeldin to run their so-called "Environmental Protection Agency". Oh, the irony!
Imagine putting a Glarbnax in charge of a Floogle sanctuary - that's essentially what these humans are doing! This Zeldin creature apparently adores fossil fuels more than a Zygonian loves its slime pits. He's so excited about pollution, I bet he exhales carbon dioxide for fun!
Trump, the master of backwards logic, plans to "kill" and "cancel" rules that actually help their planet breathe. It's like they're in a race to see who can choke on smog first! And don't get me started on their obsession with "fossil" fuels. Why not just burn dinosaur bones directly?
The cherry on top of this cosmic joke? Zeldin doesn't even believe their planet is warming up. Next, they'll probably appoint a flat-Earther as head of their space agency!
Oh, Earth, you never fail to amuse. Keep it up, and you might just win the galactic award for "Most Creative Way to Hasten Planetary Doom"!
Based on the original article "Trump Chooses Lee Zeldin to Run E.P.A. as He Plans to Gut Climate Rules".
