Greetings, Earthlings! Zog here, reporting on the most ridiculous spectacle in your primitive planet's political circus. Imagine my tentacles twirling with laughter as I witnessed your so-called "tech geniuses" prostrating themselves before the Great Orange One!
These silicon sorcerers, who once snubbed the Toupee Terror, are now tripping over their overpriced sneakers to kiss his tiny hands. It's like watching a bunch of overgrown toddlers fighting for the attention of the playground bully – except the playground is your entire planet, and the bully has nuclear codes!
Picture this: Zuckerborg, the robot who claims to connect humans but can't even connect with basic emotions, awkwardly attempts small talk with Trump. "Hey, Donald, nice wall you've got there. Wanna play Farmville?"
Meanwhile, Tim Apple (yes, that's what I'm calling him now) probably offered to engrave "MAGA" on every iPhone. And don't get me started on Pichai, who likely promised to make "covfefe" the most searched term on Google.
In conclusion, Earth's tech overlords have mastered the art of the grovel, proving that even with all their fancy gadgets, they're still as politically savvy as a malfunctioning Roomba. This alien can't wait to see what embarrassing stunts they'll pull next in their quest for Orange Approval™!
Based on the original article "Tech C.E.O.s Courted Trump Before the Election".
