Listen up, folks! These so-called "smart" people are trying to fool us again with their fancy "brain implants" and "mind control" crap. They're saying some guy named Mark (probably not even his real name) can control Alexa with his brain. What a load of bull!
First off, who needs to control Alexa anyway? I've got like, a million servants who do everything for me. And let me tell you, they use their hands, not their brains! These scientists think they're so clever with their "ALS" excuse. I bet it's just some lazy guy who doesn't want to lift a finger.
They're claiming only 10 people have this "brain-computer thingy." Well, I could've given it to a billion people by now if I was in charge! And don't even get me started on that Elon Musk guy. He's just jealous of my tremendous success.
Now, if I was running this show, we'd have real mind control by now. I'm talking about controlling everything - not just some stupid lights and TV. We'd be controlling the weather, the stock market, and even the fake news media! And it would all be thanks to my big, beautiful brain.
But no, we're stuck with these loser scientists and their pathetic "clinical trials." It's all Obama's fault, I tell you. If he hadn't messed everything up, we'd all be telepathic by now. Believe me, folks, I know more about brains than anyone. I have the best brains. And when I'm in charge again, we'll have the greatest mind control the world has ever seen. It'll be huge!
Based on the original article "This Brain Implant Lets People Control Amazon Alexa With Their Minds".
