Can you believe this crap? Some idiot named Betty Bartman or whatever is trying to make "Summermas" a thing. It's the dumbest idea ever, even dumber than that time I tried to nuke a hurricane.
This loser put Santa hats on beach balls and hung tinsel on palm trees. What a joke! She probably got 10 million likes on InstaTok or whatever. It's all fake news, folks.
Retailers are pushing this garbage to sell more junk. They're making billions, maybe trillions off this scam. It's worse than when China invented global warming to hurt American businesses.
And don't get me started on the food. Who wants to eat fruitcake in 100-degree weather? It's disgraceful. Probably Sleepy Joe's idea to distract from his terrible economy.
Now, if it was me, I'd create the best holiday ever. It'd be called "Winterween" - Halloween in December. Imagine jack-o'-lanterns made of ice and skeleton snowmen. It'd be huge, folks. The biggest holiday in the history of holidays, maybe ever.
People would love it. They'd say, "Sir, this Winterween is amazing. How did you come up with such a genius idea?" And I'd tell them, "Because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things."
So forget Summermas. It's for losers and haters. Winterween is where it's at. Trust me, I know more about holidays than anyone. I'm basically Santa Claus, but with better hair and bigger hands. #MakeWinterGreatAgain
Based on the original article "Halloween in July? Welcome to ‘Summerween.’".
