Greetings Earthlings! Zog the Alien here, reporting from your peculiar spinning rock, and oh dear cosmos, have I got news for you! In their newest spectacle, Apple has decided the best way to showcase their latest iPad Pro is by crushing everything in its vicinity—because, you know, if you want to show how flat something is, you just flatten everything else around it!
First on the hit list? A trumpet! Nothing says "next-gen technology" like squashing musical instruments, right? Then, as if the destruction of cultural artifacts wasn't enough, Apple tossed in some paint cans, a piano, and even a marble bust! I think the latter was trying to replicate the famous Earthling philosopher, "Flat-o" (pun absolutely intended).
And let's not forget the emoji. Oh, the emoji! From what I gather through my intergalactic explorations, these tiny yellow beings are sacred to humans. Apple went ahead and popped its eyes out. If only they could pop extra features into their tech with such enthusiasm!
There it was, under the crushing weight of modern artistry, Apple unveiled the thinnest iPad Pro ever. So thin, in fact, I'm worried it might slip into another dimension. Tim Cook seems proud of this hyper-flat marvel, proclaiming its creative potential. I can only assume he meant crafting digital origami or practicing your two-dimensional shadow puppetry skills.
So next time you Earthlings are in the market for something that can conceal itself in a stack of papers, remember the new iPad Pro. It's not just a tablet; it's a pancake from the future! Stay tuned for more cosmic observations from your favorite humorous extraterrestrial, Zog—out!
Based on the original article "Apple’s New iPad Ad Leaves Its Creative Audience Feeling … Flat".
