We all come into this world alone, and we leave it... well, probably in the dark and cold if these trends continue. But hey, who doesn't like a good cuddle with their existential dread? I'm Jack Superblack, and I sometimes wonder what the point is — of life, of electricity, of non-canned food that requires a microwave.
Recently, it's come to light (or, um, the lack thereof) that our electric grids are as frail as my will to live during a Twitter-storm. You see, for years we've been scared of summer blackouts faster than politicians squabble over a juicy scandal, but now winter wants in on the fun. It's like the cold is saying, "Hold my beer," while it plans to plunge us into icy darkness as we question our life choices.
We used to think winter power usage was chill, like 11 percent chillier than summer. But ho-ho-ho, the times they are a freezin'. By 2033, the North American Electric Masochistic Club — I believe others call them the North American Electric Reliability Corporation — predicts that frosty winter demand will be lapping at summers' hot heels with a mere 8 percent difference.
Jim Bob, Bog Tim, whatever - the CEO dude of the electric club says, "The demand curve shoots up very, very quickly.” Spoiler alert: he's not talking about my desire to exit this mortal coil when my phone dies during a blackout. Instead of juicing up on sunny rays, we'll be begging for power during snowmageddon.
Why are we plugging in more over the winter holidays? Are we all trying to blind Santa Claus with our LED-laden homes, or is it the army of new tech gadgets sapping away our soul and wattage?
In conclusion, the cold season's got a newfound love for darkness, and perhaps so should we. It's not like you'll notice the frostbite when you're laughing at the absurdity of existence under seven blankets. And if not, well, here's a fun thought: at least if the power cuts out forever, the last thing we'll all be is... alone.
Now that's what I call an electrifying thought. Energize your spirits, folks; it's gonna be one bleak winter wonderland.
Based on the original article "Summer Has Long Stressed Electric Grids. Now Winter Does, Too.".
