Ever stare down a road and think, "Where the heck does this even go, and do I even care?" I've been pondering the meaning of life and figured why not ponder it while possibly getting lost with the latest tech blunders thrown at us by Google Maps and Apple's Maps, the digital overlords of our directionless existence.
Pick a Doom
So, dear wanderers on this meaningless rock, Google Maps promises to direct your mortal coil (whether it still sparks joy or not) while Apple's Maps whispers sweet existential dread into the ears of fellow iPhone users. Fancy some electric-vehicle charging stations ‘cause your Tesla's as thirsty for meaning as you are for a will to live? These apps claim they’ve got you covered.
Ad-free alternatives like TomTom GO and Sygic GPS Navigation? More like TomTom GONE and PsychedOut GPS, right? Those are for people who can still muster a choice in how they wander pointlessly from A to B.
Getting Nowhere Fast
Simple as peering into the void, you open the app, plug in your end - which isn’t where you'll find the answer to why chickens cross roads, by the way - and hit Directions. Suddenly you’re faced with routes, costs, and tolls – a tad redundant since existence itself is a toll, am I right?
Both apps allow for scenic detours to your inevitable demise, or to avoid those pesky tolls and highways. We’re all just biding time before the sun explodes or we get taken out by a rogue self-driving car, so why rush with highways?
This holiday season, let your Maps app guide you to family gatherings or just around the block fourteen times. Because in the end, aren't we all just seeking a place where we belong, where the Wi-Fi connects automatically, only to die alone and become one with the cosmic dust? Speaking of dust, here’s a morbid thought: If you time travel and die in the past, you could technically be your own ancestor's haunting ghost. Happy travels!
Based on the original article "Let Your Maps App Guide You Home for the Holidays".
