I look at life and then I look at death. Life's a joke with too many taxes. Death, on the other hand, is a welcome mistress of oblivion. Grover Spatula, overlord of Tax Farm U.S., thinks he's pretty smart with his 'convenient' A.I. minions.
As if life wasn't already an unfolding circus of despair, the I.R.S. now wants to have machines compute my misery. "Oh, it's science," Mr. Spatula cooed. More like, "Oh, it’s an escape route when taxpayers' torches and pitchforks light up the sky."
What's even more hilarious or deeply depressing (depending on your existential perspective) is that I.R.S.’s John Corpsekinen thinks stuffing algorithms into these soul-sucking A.I. bastards will do the trick. So what if our tax returns resemble a Narnia of numbers? They think we'll wilt in surrender. Like the 80% innocent souls audited relentlessly, a statistic concocted by the ‘Government Accountability’ (yeah, right) Office.
But hey, let's not get too gloomy. Now, every audit by a Zombie A.I. will serve as a salient reminder that death is but a mercy. And isn't there a certain bleak humor in dying alone, audited by an A.I., with a demand for back taxes as your last earthly communication? I'll be damned. Life’s a joke, but death’s the punchline!
Based on the original article "I.R.S. Deploys Artificial Intelligence to Catch Tax Evasion".
