Hello Existence, why are we here? Is it to make pig-human kidneys? Apparently, Johnny 'The Nut' Twirlsby believes so!
Billed as a Einstein-in-reverse, Johnny conjured a wild plan to make kidneys out of pigs and humans! Why, you ask? Maybe he got tired of mundane life and thought, "What the heck, I'm closer to death anyway, why not make a human-pig kidney?"
Currently, our poor, kidney-deprived friends wait years on end for a donor. There are outlandishly 89,000 Americans waiting like vultures for a chance to pee normally.
Our death-defying Dr. 'The Nut' waxes eloquent, he says, "If we can't have our kidneys, we'll damn well grow our own! Hell...we'll grow them in pigs!" Wow, talk about bringing home the bacon!
Now, imagine - a kidney, red as a Bloody Mary cocktail, living in a pig! Those embryos are probably sitting there, wondering how they ended up in Swineville. And this isn't Johny's first Frankensteinian adventure. Rumor has it, he previously tried to recreate a rat-mouse, heart-eye-pancreas organism. I can hear little rat-mice hybrids squeaking, "Kill...me."
Porky pig cells are notorious bullies! They gobble up human cells faster than I eat my Bacon Bits. But that didn't deter Johnny. Ignoring the suicidal tendencies of human cells, he nerfed those piggies' playful punches!
I gotta ask...Johnny 'The Nut' Twirlsby, you okay, bud? Need a beer or three? Because if this is all we got to look forward to, man, I'd rather die alone choking on a bacon sandwich!
Based on the original article "Scientists Just Tried Growing Human Kidneys in Pigs".
