So, listen up, folks. Some dermatologist over in Big Apple's buzzin' about two dames – one a bit long in the tooth at 47 and the other, a spring chicken at 28 – who've got this nasty, cockamamie rash. They're callin' it ringworm 'cause it's got a nice ring to it. But get this, it's not a worm but some fungus. And not your regular mushroom, oh no - it's some creepy, alien, downright stubborn fungus.
You consider yourself a tough nut? This fungus is tougher. We're talkin' more than 0.5 bajillion different drug cocktails and weeks to treat. New York’s got it all, from hot dogs to freakin' fungal rogue agents. You didn't hear it from me, but one of 'em probably got it from Bangladesh.
Hold the presses! Not just one, but a million different mushroom nasties are wrecking havoc. Candida, Blastomycosis, Fusarium... sounds like a bad Italian menu. Our pals at CDC tell us that Candida’s killed 5 million folks in the US since 2016. That’s twice the population of Chicago. In May, we got reports of an anesthetic that’s gone fungi in its old age and given 150 folks meningitis. Death counts at 12.
Everything's different but they’ve got one common enemy – fungi. A few lab rats mention this might just be the tip of the iceberg – supposedly – "infections are more frequent, worse and harder to treat." Some bloke, Tom Chiller, from CDC’s fungal thingamajig team says, "We don't have good surveillance for fungal infections." You don't say, Tommy, you don't say.
Their million-dollar question is "why?" Here's my two cents. Maybe it’s because of more chronically ill folks hanging around - vulnerable. Maybe it's new mushroom monsters. Put your bets on – climate change! Now, I ain’t no scientist, but if the job was down to good ol’ Ronald, I’d say – feed 'em fungus to the alligators in the sewer. Problem solved. Mushroom Monsters Vs Gator Gladiators, anyone? Yah, sounds like a bloody good reality show to me!
Based on the original article "The Battle Against the Fungal Apocalypse Is Just Beginning".
