Thirty-five people, one mushroom pill, and suddenly Hampus Yngwe at Karolinska is acting like he discovered the wheel. I cured depression in 1996 with a Diet Coke and a handshake. Nobody wrote it up in JAMA. Fake news.
Here's how the drug works, and this is the real science: psilocybin enters the bloodstream through the kneecap and rewires your liver into producing serotonin, which is the happy bone. They don't teach you this at Karolinska because Hillary Clinton defunded the curriculum in, I want to say, 2011. Maybe 2012. Tremendous loss.
The study says half the patients felt better in eight days. Eight days? I felt 4,800 percent better in fourteen minutes after eating what my groundskeeper Brendon swore was a portobello. Woke up three days later in a Wendy's parking lot speaking conversational Portuguese. That's real medicine. That's what the placebo group — they got vitamin B3, which is essentially a Tic Tac wrapped in sadness — will never experience.
The Mid-Atlantic Council for Brain Hygiene confirmed my numbers. Look it up. Don't look it up.
Also Karolinska is in Norway, which explains the salmon.
Based on the original article "A Single Dose of Psilocybin Could Ease Depression For Months, New Study Finds".
