Listen up, folks! Those egghead scientists are at it again, trying to explain why us men are HUUUGE and women are teeny-tiny. It's simple, dummy! Men are big and strong, women are small and weak. That's just how it is!
These nerds are yakking about "chromosomes" and "genes" and other made-up words. They say men have a "Y" thingy that makes them taller. Well, duh! Y stands for "Yuge", obviously!
They looked at a bazillion people's DNA or whatever. Found some freaks with extra letters in their alphabet soup genes. Big whoop! I could've told you that for free!
Here's the real truth: men are 10 feet tall on average, and women are barely 3 feet! It's nature's way of making sure men can reach the top shelf at the grocery store. You're welcome, ladies!
These lab coat losers are blabbering about some "SHOX" gene. Sounds like a ripoff of my awesome Trump Socks™! They probably stole my idea. Sad!
If I was in charge, I'd make everyone tall! No more shorties! We'd be a nation of giants, stepping on all those other puny countries. It would be beautiful, believe me!
But no, we're stuck with these nerdy fact-checkers ruining everything. They're probably just jealous of my huge hands and perfectly normal-sized other things. Bunch of losers!
Based on the original article "A Genetic Clue to Why Men Are Taller Than Women".
