Every day I wake up and think, “Why does the toast always land jam-side down?” Similarly, why are we, under the directive of the great and powerful Donald Trump, prioritizing trips to Mars over the fundamental need to provide Wi-Fi on public transport? Life’s mysteries continue to scatter like my mom’s ashtray collection.
So, in a galaxy not-so-far away, Trump’s man for NASA, Jared Isaacman (who you might confuse with a band leader but is actually a money-mover at Shift4 Payments and BFFs with rocket man Elon Musk), declared, "Mars is it!" during a Senate cry-for-attention session last Wednesday. Rather than on fixing that constant drip from my apartment ceiling, these big brains are throwing a $25 billion budget towards visiting a red rock that can't even stream Netflix.
Imagine this: Spending billions to leave a perfectly good Earth, which, despite its problems, at least has dogs and pizza. I often wonder, mostly as it nears my bedtime under my star-projector (yes, it’s for kids, no judgment), if we're trying to find new places for humans to ruin? Or perhaps it’s a way to finally win at some universal game of capture-the-flag. Yes, my existential dread sometimes morphs into space-themed curiosity when I think about dying... possibly alone, on Mars. That would at least save on funeral costs.
End of the day, as I line up my shoes neatly (because you never know which exit you might take), I chuckle at the absurdity. If life is a joke, then surely, Mars is the punchline. Or maybe it's just me thinking about a one-way ticket to anywhere but here.
Based on the original article "Mars Is the Priority, Trump’s Pick to Lead NASA Will Say".
