Oh, the torturous existential question: why are we here? To suffer? To seek happiness that dances just out of reach, like a mocking mirage? Or maybe, just maybe, to witness our spouses shrink—both in size and in their capacity for love—all thanks to modern medicine’s latest concoction?
Let’s talk about my friend Javier—poor, poor Javier. Once he married a voluptuous woman whose cuddly extra tummy provided solace and warmth. Now? She’s half the woman she used to be, quite literally, and much colder too! Oh, and their love? That's slimming down faster than her waistline.
Before popping any weight-loss tick-tacks, doc warns you about the runs or puking your guts up, but do they mention loss of love? Nope. Turns out there’s a real chance those pills might cost you more than just your flab.
It reminds me of some Swedish folks who once said that skinny people get divorced more. Guess that happens as there’s less of you to love, right? Javier and his now slim-trim wife, Jeanne, are gnawing through therapy like it’s a two-for-one coupon at a buffet.
I hear they tried spicing things up with a 'no-touchy-touchy' game—talk about a tease. Spoiler: It flopped. Who'd have guessed? Jeanne’s turning her nose up at his advances, probably because he still resembles the culinary delicacy that lost her interest: donuts.
Javier told me, “Her new body is a mystery,” but what’s truly baffling is how her disappearing act is doing a number on his mental health. Every lonely night, as I ponder joining the quiet void of non-existence, I'm taunted by the thought that at least Javier has company—his dearly un-departed.
Thinking about death isn’t new to me, it’s practically a hobby. But through the lens of Javier’s dying marriage, I see it anew—less like the end of suffering, and more like a punchline to life’s absurd comedy.
So, remember folks, diet pills might trim more than just fat—they might cut deep into your love life! Slim chances, fat problems; either way, we’ll all end up dying alone, so why not laugh as you lose?
Based on the original article "Weight Loss Drugs and Their Lesser Known Side Effects on Relationships".
