Listen up, folks! Those egghead scientists are at it again, wasting our hard-earned tax dollars on stupid monkey experiments. They're trying to prove some baloney about monkeys typing Shakespeare or whatever. What a load of crap!
First off, who cares about Shakespeare anyway? He's been dead for like a million years! I've seen better writing on bathroom walls. And these so-called "experts" think monkeys can't do it? Ha! I've met monkeys smarter than half the people in Congress.
They're talking about "infinite monkeys" and "infinite time." What a joke! I could get a bunch of monkeys to write better plays in a week, tops. But no, these lab coat dummies waste years on this garbage. It's all Obama's fault, I tell ya. He probably funded this nonsense with my tax money!
And don't get me started on that British zoo. Five pages of the letter S? Big deal! I can type S all day long. SSSSSSS! See? I'm a genius too!
If I was in charge, we'd have monkey Shakespeare, monkey Einstein, and monkey everything else. We'd be swimming in monkey geniuses! But no, we're stuck with these loser scientists who can't even make a monkey type a simple play. Sad!
Trust me, folks. I know monkeys. I have the best monkeys. And if anyone can make monkeys great again, it's me. Vote Trumpet for Monkey-in-Chief!
Based on the original article "Could Monkeys Really Type All of Shakespeare?".
