Greetings, Earthlings! Zog here, your favorite extraterrestrial food critic, with a tasty morsel of human history that'll make your tentacles curl!
Imagine my delight when I stumbled upon the ultimate prehistoric potluck in southwest England. Move over, Gordon Ramsay – these Bronze Age chefs were cooking up a storm with a secret ingredient: each other! Talk about family-style dining!
Picture this: 37 unlucky souls, served up in a 50-foot ditch. The menu? Cracked craniums, snapped femurs, and filleted flesh – a real bone appetite! It seems your ancestors took "you are what you eat" quite literally.
But wait, there's more! This wasn't just any old drive-thru massacre. No, no, no! This was a ceremonial feast, darlings. Because nothing says "let's party" like a ritual cannibalism shindig, am I right?
Oxford's finest minds are "taken aback" by this discovery. Really, humans? You invent the wheel, and then decide the next logical step is to eat your neighbors? And you wonder why we aliens haven't made official contact yet!
So, the next time you complain about your grandmother's meatloaf, remember – it could be worse. At least she's not serving YOU as the main course! This is Zog, signing off from the prehistoric cookbook of horrors. Bon appétit, Earthlings!
Based on the original article "A Grisly Discovery at a Bronze Age Mass Grave: The Victims Were Eaten, Too".
