Why do we wake up in the morning? Seriously, why bother when you could stay snuggled under the blanket forever—or until you starve, that is. The same kind of existential dread hits me, Jack Superblack, whenever I think about Bitcoin.
Remember Laszlo Hanyecz, folks? No? Well, he’s the bloke who inadvertently threw away over a billion bucks on two Papa John’s pizzas… by using Bitcoin! Fast forward, and here we are, Bitcoin just hit the monstrous price of $100,000. That's enough to make anyone choke on their pepperoni slice with a side of life's absurdity.
Let's unpack this craziness. My death-obsessed brain thinks: had Laszlo just held onto those Bitcoins, he might've funded an eternal pizza party in some morbidly luxurious crypt, all by himself. Instead, we're at a point where the Bitcoin freaks are probably lighting their cigars with flaming hundred-dollar bills, or possibly small countries—I forget which is worth more these days.
The pile of digital coins now trumps the net worth of giants like Mastercard and Walmart. Heck, the total value of these coins could probably buy a few minor deities or celebrity souls, though Elon Musk might be outbidding everyone as we speak.
Now, if you’re feeling as insignificant as a crumb on the fabric of universe just considering the ludicrous sum of $1 billion for pizzas, welcome to the club. Meetings are Thursdays, and yes, we think about dying alone—often.
To wrap it up with a delightful morbid joke—what’s the point of having all that dough if you can’t even share a laugh with someone over a slice of death, I mean, pizza? Here’s to dying rich and alone, or just plain old absurd! Cheers!
Based on the original article "Bitcoin Hits a Milestone: $100,000".
