Ah, life. One day you're sipping bad coffee, pondering the abyss of your existence, and the next, you're reading about a mummified kitten from the Ice Age. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? If death is as cold as Siberia, at least it’s consistent.
In 2020, some folks hunting for mammoth leftovers stumbled upon a furball in the ice in eastern Siberia. At first, I thought, “A mummy? At this age? Shouldn't it be unwrapping gifts, not getting unwrapped?” But turns out, it was a saber-toothed kitten, not your grandma’s kind of mummy.
The boffins got all excited, claiming it was the coolest thing since frozen margaritas. Instead of margaritas, though, they found this Ice Age memento stuck in the freezer for about 28,000 years. Imagine that – 28,000 years without a date. Puts my Saturday nights into perspective.
“This might be the best thing since the invention of sliced bread,” said a scientist from a place doing science stuff, who definitely wasn't me in a lab coat. But, who thinks about bread when facing a creature with teeth bigger than my future?
As I stare into the abyss of this kitty’s unblinking eyes, I think about the cold, solitary death that awaits us all. Meh, at least this kitty wasn’t ghosted – just frozen.
In conclusion, if I’m going to die alone, might as well freeze me next to a prehistoric puffball. At least it'd make for a good story – assuming someone digs me up in a few millenniums.
Based on the original article "A Mummified Saber-Toothed Kitten Emerges in Siberia".
