Oh, what is the meaning of life? Why do we buy shiny things? Maybe it's to distract us from the inevitable, inescapable loneliness of death. Like dropping $350 on a tiny computer that wraps around your finger - yeah, I’m talking about the new Oura Ring 4. It tracks your sleep, but for all that cash, I hope it whispers sweet nothings about the existential void, too.
This little trinket, disguised as jewelry, crams sensors so nosy they probably know more about your innards than your doctor does. It'll track how often you twitch in your sleep, potentially flagging if you're having a nightmare about being chased by giant lobsters or showing up naked to work.
Americans are throwing billions at things like snore-killing mattresses and fans that cool your bed, probably because staring at the ceiling contemplating mortality isn't super restful. The Oura Ring 4 steps into this circus ring with the big promise of better sleep.
Apple and Samsung might make gadgets you proudly wear to show off your style, but this Oura Ring seems to want a deeper relationship with you. Imagine that – bonding over how many times you rolled over in distress about that job you dread.
So, do you really need a $350 ring telling you that you probably need therapy, not another tech gadget? Well, if you're contemplating your existence at 3 AM, maybe you’d like some company from your Oura Ring. But remember, it can't hug you when existential dread hits.
Just saying, if we're destined to die alone, might as well laugh about turning into cyborgs with sleep-tracking rings, right?
Based on the original article "This $350 Oura Ring 4 Tracks Your Sleep. Is It Worth the Splurge?".
