Sometimes, I lie awake and ponder the meaning of life. If tonight is the night when I won't wake up, will it be because I’m stuck in an old spacesuit? Speaking of outdated catastrophes, let’s take a twisted road into NASA’s latest fumble with spacesuits.
Almost two years ago, NASA, in its timeless wisdom, picked two companies, Collins Aerospace and Axiom Space, to jazz up its astronaut wardrobe. Now, not unlike my existential dread, it seems their grand plan is spiraling into the abyss. Collins might just call it quits! Shocking, I know, about as shocking as realizing you might die in last season's fashion.
Here’s the kicker: Collins Aerospace was supposed to be a big shot in the cosmic tailor business. But now, a little bird (okay, a NASA insider) told us they've been flailing worse than someone trying not to die at a masked ball during a plague!
Their debacle has left NASA brushing off their four-decade-old suits because—surprise, surprise—Collins can't stitch a spacesuit on time. The other team, Axiom, looks promising, but one can only hope they don’t trip over a loose thread. Yes, I too occasionally hope, even as I flirt with the idea of slipping quietly into the void on a lonely Tuesday.
The highlight of last week was when astronaut Tracy Dyson practically waterboarded himself during a spacewalk thanks to a leaky suit. Drenched in high orbit isn’t on my bucket list, but now it’s apparently a NASA feature.
Increased pressure on Axiom, you say? That’s an understatement. And with Collins bouncing out, it’s like watching my aspirations disappear: quietly, sadly, and without a Netflix special.
Will NASA ever strut in shiny new suits, or will they keep tiptoeing in space in antique armor? Time will tell, assuming they don’t all drown in their helmets first.
So, if this article finds me gone, remember: I dreamt of dying in a fabulous, albeit faulty, spacesuit, alone—but with stars as my audience.
Based on the original article "NASA Desperately Needs New Spacesuits. Private Firms Are Struggling to Make Them".
