Everyone’s blabbing about the big art shindigs at fancy pants places like Sotheby’s, Christie’s and Phillips. They say treasures like Warhol smudges and Picasso doodles are fetching zillions – we’re talking real squillions of bucks here. But hold your horses! There’s big, fat trouble brewing this spring. Christie’s, right? They had their knickers in a twist ‘cause some cheeky hackers played tic-tac-toe on their website last Thursday.
Christie's is all like, “Yeah nah, but we’ll still flog the art in person, so no sweat, right?” But everyone’s biting their nails ‘cause who knows who’s seen their secret doodles and credit card doodads? Imagine, you wanted to bid on a swanky Picasso from your loo, and bam! No internetty stuff - just a dopey “Oopsie” website. Real helpful, that.
And here’s a giggle: they reckon over 1,700 fancy artworks are gonna be sold. They hope to rake in something silly like a gazillion smackeroos. Think about it, why do heads even roll when these smarty-boots drop the ball?
Now folks, if I, Ronald Trumpet, was the big boss of Christie’s, boy, things would’ve been slicker than a greased pig. First off, none of this cyber wibbly-wobbly. I’d hire my cousin Vinnie, top lad, knows computers like the back of his hand. Security? Tighter than a duck’s rump, and that’s watertight, mate.
Next, if the net went kaput? Pssh, easy peasy. I’d whip out the ol’ trusty mobile hotspot. Bob’s your uncle – back online before you could say “Monet’s water lilies.” And confidential data? I’d keep it locked tighter than my Aunt Edna’s diary. No peeking, naughty hackers!
So there you go. Ronald Trumpet: solving problems he’s too smart to have in the first place. And as for Christie’s? Maybe next time, you’ll pick up the phone, eh? I’m just sitting here, waiting to make things better.
Based on the original article "At Art Auctions Market Seeks Its Footing After Stumbling Sales and a Hack at Christie’s".
