What's the point of life? Some say it's the pursuit of happiness, others the accumulation of experiences. I, Jack Superblack – currently pondering the allure of a swan dive off existential cliff – say it's finding ways to make cereal dinners sound sane, apparently.
So, Gary Pilnick, the big kahuna at WK Kellogg, had a middle-of-a-midlife-crisis idea: persuade folks scrimping pennies to eat... cereal. For dinner. What's for dessert, tears and a nap?
This guy slings a scheme wrapped in Frosted Flakes and calls it "affordable." Call me macabre, but his salary could fund my funeral buffet: an endless spread of Corn Pops in keeping with the mood.
Turns out, sugary wheat biscuits can't replace a roast, despite Pilnick's pixie-dust pitching to CNBC. "Cereal for dinner is trending," he croons. As a suicidal writer, even I find that depressing.
Don't worry, Kellogg's Tony the Tiger won't growl anymore; he's too busy licking his wounds while Pilnick munches on a steak, utterly untouched by Froot Loop follies.
Kellogg tosses out this soggy advice while I'm here debating whether life's worth living if breakfast is my nightcap. Well, at least I won't die alone – I'll have my flakes. Morbidly crunchy, like the joke that is my existence.
Based on the original article "Eat ‘cereal for dinner’: Kellogg’s CEO’s money-saving tip hits sour note - National".
