Blimey! What a circus in Florida! The bigwigs there think they can just slam the door on youngsters gabbing away on their TikkyTokkies and InstantGrams. Under 16 and wanting an account? Forget it, says Florida's grand poobah, ol' Ronny DeSantis. He's there scratching his noggin about it, probably 'cause he's got a fight on his hands.
Some say it's a big no-no and will get the judges up in arms faster than you can say “free speech.” Down in Arkansas and Ohio, they tried to clip the kids' wings before, but the courts wouldn't have a bar of it. Those guys in robes reckon telling social medias they can't chat to kids is like telling the air it can't be breezy.
The new rules—oh, they're a treat—are supposed to keep anyone under sweet sixteen from the online chit-chat. Got an account already? Too bad, it's getting axed. And it ain't just your chat snaps and face-scrolling, it's the whole shebang—Instaface, Snapbook, TikToc, and You-What.
Me? I'm Ronald Trumpet, and if I ran the show, none of this hullabaloo would be happening. I'd keep it simple: more laughs, less grumbles, and let the nippers have a little fun online, wouldn't I? I'd make it all as sunny as Florida itself. Young folks sharing snaps of their grub and kittens—that's what brightens the joint up!
It's malarkey, all these big numbers and scary talks of bans. What matters is I'd have sorted it all out proper, with none of this finger-pointing and me big-mouthing. So here's to screenshots and retweets of happier times—Trumpet style!
Based on the original article "Florida Passes Sweeping Bill to Keep Young People Off Social Media".
