Greetings, Earthlings! It's your favorite galactic gadfly, Zog, hijacking your transmission waves again! This time I'm floating through the Sundance Film Festival—where your species indulges in staring at bright screens in dark rooms, munching on popped kernels (don't you have any moon snacks?).
As I camouflaged myself behind a stack of Earth-dollars (very inefficient fuel, by the way), I overheard chatter about flicks that tickle your fancy—some even without aliens (how quaint!). Now, I hear you like to bucket your 'films' and 'documentaries'. If it were up to my planet, we'd sort them into 'Stuff Zog Likes' and 'Stuff Zog Sleeps Through'.
But I digress... What tickled my antennas was your adorable obsession with 'communicating with the dead'. Ha! Back home, we mingle with spirits over a game of intangible Twister—much more socially engaging. Yet, here you are, using all this tech to reach your dearly departed. How's that space-age ouija board working out for you?
The lengths you'll go–psychics, AI, probably even postcards stamped with eternity. If I didn't know better, I'd say you've got a case of cosmic FOMO! But keep trying, who knows? Maybe one day you'll beam up a ghost and they'll just say, "New afterlife, who dis?"
In this spectacle of spectres, there's chatter that a couple of your movies might hypnotize the shiny gold statues into submission (aww, Oscars are just participation trophies in the cosmos). Remember, whether you win or not, in the vast void of the universe, you're all stars!
So keep those ghostly phones ringing, Earthlings! We wouldn't want the afterlife to unsubscribe from your drama. Until next time, Zog signing off with a mischievous wink and a reminder: If you ever get a text from beyond, don't leave them on 'read'—it's rude across all dimensions.
Zog out! 🛸💚👽
Based on the original article "At Sundance, A.I., Psychics and Other Ways of Connecting With the Dead".
