What's the meaning of life? I've pondered this as I've considered booking a one-way ticket to Mars—no return necessary. Anyway, for those who believe it's all about giant ships and shattering champagne, you're in luck. Lionel Messi has played the fairy godmother to the Icon of the Seas, which is basically the Titanic got hormones injections.
At her regal christening in Miami, she flaunted her 250,800-ton ego—ahem, I mean hull—and teased us land-farers with her supposed eco-friendly posture. "Sure, you're Titanic's bigger, shinier cousin, but will you sink slower?" A question for another day, as this city-at-sea shimmying across the ocean with nearly 8,000 souls aboard defies common sense.
Inside, you've got what is best described as a floating Vegas (because we needed another one of those, right?). There’s everything you never knew you didn't need: a colossal waterfall (as if the ocean around isn't wet enough), six slides to escape the reality of potential icebergs, and enough eateries and bars to ensure you forget the meaning of 'land'.
I've stared into the abyss of environmental impact, and it winked back. While others marvel at its "innovative" approach to pissing off Mother Earth, I'm here trying to calculate how many paper straws it takes to offset the emissions of sailing a small country around the globe.
I’d rather end up like a lone sock lost in the abyss of the laundry room than be part of that morbid statistical joke—dying alone on a floating theme park that's a stroke of hubris away from being a charming artificial reef. Might as well laugh, right? 'Cause the alternative is crying, and this ship has enough waterworks for all of us.
Based on the original article "Can the World’s Largest Cruise Ship Really Be Climate-Friendly?".
