Ever wondered what the meaning of life really is? I think about it a lot. Especially the 'ending it all' part. But while I'm contemplating my existential crisis, flowers out there are getting busy... with themselves.
Yep, flowers are pulling a grand ol' evolutionary one-eighty! With bees dropping like flies—pun painfully intended—flora are turning to self-love. No more bee booty calls; it's all DIY for these desperate daisies.
This jaw-dropping adaptability comes from what scientists dub the "Well, we're thoroughly screwed" school of thought. You see, with toxic sprays turning pollinator parties into wakes and real estate developers bulldozing love hotels (a.k.a. natural habitats), blooms had to get inventive—fast.
Enter Dr. Buzzy No-More, fictional frontman of the study, who after 20 generations (that's Speedy Gonzales fast in evolution terms) noticed plants playing both Romeo and Juliet. And like my own urge to jump off the nearest metaphorical cliff, the speed of these changes is staggering.
But why stop at flowers? Maybe we can learn something here. When the going gets tough, the tough... pollinate themselves? No, that can't be right. Anyway, it's the circle of life—or death if you're as cheerfully pessimistic as me.
In closing, wish these blossoming hermits good luck. They're stuck in a solo act, and so are many of us. At least they're getting some sort of action. And remember, we're all headed for the compost heap—one way or another. Speaking of which, I've got a hilarious joke about dying alone, but it seems I've run out of thyme. Get it? Thyme? It's a plant. Never mind.
Based on the original article "Flowers Are Evolving to Have Less Sex".
